Today is our ten year wedding anniversary! I was looking for something special to do together and came across this fun post by RedBook.com which had to be shared. Which ones will you do??
10 Fun and Nurturing Things to do for your 10 Year Anniversary
It’s been a long time since you and your hubby were in that honeymoon stage, and while you may love him more than ever, after a decade, babies, and too many huge life changes to count, the gotta-have-you feelings might not be as strong as they once were. That’s why it’s the perfect time to challenge yourselves to have fun and work through some of your underlying issues. Now, here’s to 10 more years of wedded bliss.
1. Stop should-ing the love away.
There’s the way you imagine your relationship to be, the way you think it should be… and then there’s the way it actually is. While everyone falls into the trap of comparing their marriage to their friends’—friends who seem like they have everything together in perfect order, straight from a J.Crew and Pottery Barn catalog—overusing the word “should” can create unnecessary negativity in your life and relationship. Plus, the way you and your husband communicate, manage your household, and make love is your own special magic, and neglecting to focus on what you are doing can lessen your connection and devalue your friendship. “Don’t be afraid to do things outside of the box,” says Megan Bearce, author of Super Commuter Couples: Staying Together When A Job Keeps You Apart. “Create the relationship that works for the two of you and you’ll be much happier.”
2. Forget date night and play together instead.
Remember those things that originally brought you together, that you had in common and both loved to do before babies and mortgages appeared? You know, like going to concerts, backpacking, and trying out the brews at Ocktoberfest? When you had more time to spare, you played more together—and it’s time to do that again. “The last thing you want is for another 10 years to go by and to realize you have nothing left in common,” says Heidi Poelman, author of The Two-Minute Marriage Project. Check out the event calendar on your local newspaper’s website and choose one thing to do together each month. And don’t call it date night—that puts a lot of pressure on creating romance. The idea is to spend quality time doing the quality things you both love.
3. Become more selfish.
More often than not, we tend to put our husbands and kids ahead of ourselves. While you might think you’re doing the best by your family, completely pushing your needs to the side is not healthy for your marriage. Yes, you have PTA meetings and an ever-growing to-do list, but it’s important to take some time for yourself, stat, says Vicki Larson, coauthor of The New “I Do.”Even if it’s just part of a weekend day or one night every few weeks when you get a mani-pedi or binge watch Netflix, taking a moment to catch your breath and indulge will make you a better partner and mom. Not to mention that short time apart can reenergize your love life. “Intentional alone time helps you gain an extra appreciation for your spouse and your relationship by allowing you to maintain an independent life and cultivate interests apart from them,” says Bearce. Plus, friendships help balance your couple time and are valuable sounding boards for advice—and, okay, complaining that after 10 years, your husband still can’t wipe the sink after he shaves.
4. Consider a post-nup (it’s not what you think).
Sounds crazy, right? Not really, according to Larson. “Post-nups aren’t about divorce, but about getting your financial future in check,” she says. “Ten years into marriage, many people have become parents, and that often means one or the other has taken time off from a career, in part or fully, to caretake, and thus has lost time and income. What’s that lost time worth?” Since money is the one thing that almost all couples fight about, now is a good time to check in and address how to plan for your future. If you’ve always handled the finances, talk to your guy about how you’re doing it and why you’re making the decisions you are—or vice versa. It’s less about preparing for a split and more about becoming equal partners in all aspects of your relationship. And if it means you’ll be able to take the vacation you’ve been pinning as soon as the kids head to college, so be it.
5. Speaking of which, take a just-the-two-of-you vacation now.
While you might not be able to afford a romantic getaway to the south of France (if only…), you deserve to celebrate those 10 years by going away sans children. Relationship expert and The New “I Do” coauthor Susan Pease Gadoua suggests taking it a step further and making your trip a retreat—leave your phones off, disconnect from everything and everyone, and really take time to invest in your relationship and your chemistry. Concerned about emergencies? Leave the number of where you’re staying with whoever is watching the kids in case anything major comes up. It’s so easy to get consumed by email, Facebook, and all the other things you check on a daily basis, but use this weekend to remind yourself how important it also is to check in daily, rekindle, and reconnect with your spouse. And while you’re away, set aside some time to focus on introspection and reflection. Where is your marriage headed? Where do you want it to go? Without anything else to distract you, you can focus completely, 100 percent on your partner.